If
there is one month that usually comes with mixed feelings, that should be
September; because the tail end of the year comes with a lot of evil but yet
people cannot wait for the year to run out to see what the New Year has in
store for them. But for a month that had Patience Jonathan under scrutiny, this
is to MMM and the ten lessons we learnt from the month September.
1) Nigeria Plunges Into Recession
Well
it is not like you and I do not know this fact but our leaders kept telling us
things will get better. Anyway, the
situation got so bad that for the first time our politicians lost confidence in
their own lies and it Nigeria Bureau of Statistics finally published it for all
and sundry to see. Kudos to them for letting us know that I cannot afford to feed
on rice as a corps member, I hear a bag is now N24, 000. Hmmm, Nigeria we hail
thee
2) What Is Your Mavro?
An
old adage used to say that desperate times calls for desperate measures, so it
was no surprise how MMM spread like wildfire
in this period of recession. Just invest and within 30days you get 30% of your
invest with your capital; very easy shebi,
just ask those in Zimbabwe and South Africa how far. Personally, I still think those trying to provide help are still
more in Nigeria, but once the tide turns around and those requesting help are
more, better run for your dear life, Thank you.
3) September 23: Biafra Gaining Momentum
An
order was given in the whole eastern states to celebrate Nnamdi Kanu’s one year
in prison, and on the agreed day, Ibo land was like a graveyard, economic
activities halted, market people failed to open and even passersby refused to
pass. As funny as it sounds, from fear or loyalty, the truth is that the people
obeyed in their numbers. Remember Nigeria has a rich history of people leaving
prisons to become leaders and given that a popular Biafran is in prison, I
cannot help but wonder. Anyway I won’t have much of a problem switching sides
given that Nigeria is in a recession
4) Edo Decides
On
the 28th of September, Edo state finally decided to hold their much-awaited election and in much-anticipated fashion, the ruling party won
once again. Well, congrats to Obaseki or
do I say Oshiomhole. As usual, the PDP
touts in Edo protested, and like we all know Ize-Iyamu will soon go to court;
oh, we also know that the case will stay in court till Obaseki’s eight years
expires. Nigerian State elections have become so predictable.
5) Bag of Rice to Sell at N9000
Yes!
You had me right, but it is not about to happen oo, it just a political promise
from the Governor of Anambra state Wilie Obiano that will take effect if his
party APGA wins Nigerian presidency come 2019. Gov. Willie, I believe you, I
know you are one of the best governors presently in Nigeria, but by 2019 we
would all have died. Just do it now and watch the whole Nigeria come down to
Anambra to buy Rice.
6) Congrats Governor Dickson
Personally, I never knew Gov.
Seriake Dickson of Bayelsa had no child. But when the news of his wife given
birth to a set of quadruplet broke, it must have been like the joy that comes
in the morning. My dear Governor, whether it is through Invitro fertilization
or Artificial insemination or the normal way, we don’t care, just cherish those
babies, because they are your miracles from Heaven.
7) Jonathan Under EFCC Radar
She
was accused of money laundering and operating unauthorized accounts with the
name of her servants. In fact, calls are coming from all angles to prosecute
her and some of her strongholds have threatened that the 4 major towers of the
NNPC will be bombed down if she is ever arrested. She owns one of the country’s
most expensive hotels where a night costs as high as N367, 000 and yet her
state has some of the poorest individuals the country can think of. Ladies and
Gentlemen, give it up for Patience Jonathan, our Okrika born enigmatic former
first lady.
8) Leave Our National Assets
We
are in a recession, yes, but that does
not mean we have to sell off everything the country owns. We sold off waste
management, has it gotten better? The same applies to NEPA. Mr. President, please warn your advisers to stay
clear of our National assets before we start paying through our noses to enjoy
what we ordinarily should be getting free.
9) The World
Peace Day
It
is pitiable how we are always willing to kill each other around here over any
slight differences in religion. Why our religious leaders smile together and
rub minds on how to push us forward. Look no further than September 20th
that the world peace day was celebrated. Even our dear Emir Sanusi was laughing
and holding hands with Pope Francis. That is the spirit my brethren, embrace
peace and end religious violence.
10) Earth Tremors in Kaduna
Hmmm,
this one is heavy, we don’t usually hear of natural disasters around this part
of the world but what has been happening in some parts of Kaduna bugs the mind.
The earth begins to vibrate and people are thrown into chaos, already a lot of
people have fled Jaba local government of Kaduna state and those still there
must be sleeping with one eye open. O
God, please help us in Nigeria.
But
till we meet next month, I hope you celebrated the public holiday of October 1
for as long as I am concerned, there is nothing else to celebrate about that
date. So long till you read my October version.
Dubem
Val
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