My Case Against Valentine’s Day

My Case Against Valentine’s Day

In 2014, when the chairman of Independent National Electoral Commission, Prof. Attahiru Jega, announced that the 2015 national election was to hold on the 14^th of February, there was relief from different factions of the country especially the youth, not because of the election but the thought of having a stress free Valentine’s Day was epic. It is very pitiable that a day that was set aside for unbridled display of Agape love to one another has turned into a lustful worldly venture to the youth of our time and the ones before us.

It is not wrong to have a nice time with your partner, but the weight attached to Valentine’s Day nowadays has become quite burdensome and puts pressure that is uncalled for in most relationships, especially in a society like Nigeria where the man is always expected to perform. Girls now see Valentine’s Day as a competition to know who will get the most expensive gifts or go to the nicest places. Some even go as far as demanding for these gifts six months before time so that they can win the competition among their peers.

What follows is pressure on the boys to perform. Some neglect the basic duties they should carry out in their families like boycotting the school fees of their younger ones in order to please their girlfriends, others borrow money from friends in order to please their women. But these ones are not bad compared to those who resort to unorthodox means such as armed robbery in order to get the means of impressing their partners on Valentine Day.

Our mentality on the other hand has failed to help matters; love should be about who has more giving and not about one party doing all the spending and the other party doing all the leg opening like a vast majority of Nigerians presume. The expression of love should be without conditions.

There is nothing romantic any more about Valentine’s Day. How romantic can it be when you are under obligation to do it? It doesn’t matter if he takes you to the Bahamas if you knew eventually he was going to take you out. And when he does not meet up you snub him and break up with him and simply say to your friends “he is not worth it”.

There is even more pressure on the ladies to have a man. One who isn’t stingy, so he can spoil her silly on Val’s day. The single ladies go on an ultimate search- dressing seductively, being nicer, go out more often and pray every minute. From my experience, these prayers are usually answered but not they find men will see them as a means to quench an insatiable desire. In most cases, they spend lavishly on you, the extreme ones would lace your drinks and I bet you that most ladies have woken up on February 15^th neither knowing where they are nor what has happened to them. On another note we have seen girls give out their virginity on account of Valentine. Now when a person decides to lose her virginity is none of my business but a lot of them are pressured to lose it on Valentine’s Day because of their boyfriends annoyingly persistence. We have seen cases where ladies are brutally raped because they didn’t want to have sex on Valentine’s Day. There is no justification for violence against women but most of the men will argue that they spent outrageous sums buying what they are not buoyant enough to use for these ladies only for them to turn stingy at night.

The big question is, what are the consequence of Valentine’s Day? No doubt impoverishment is one of them as we see people spend their three months living income in a single day. Crime is another because in more times than one people commit different kinds of criminal activities to make money and belong on Valentine’s Day. Broken relationships have become the order of the day on V days, if someone does not meet up or did not show up or did not shine congo as the case maybe, it may very well signal the end. Rape, unwanted pregnancies, subsequent abortions, Sexually Transmitted Diseases are usually the aftermath of Valentine’s Day. Even lives are lost as the craziness in most circles include the consumption of alcohol and drugs.

This season of love also mends relationships, starts new ones too. We also see a lot of marriage proposals and weddings. But the reality remains that there needs to be a total revamp on the ideologies and true understanding of the Valentine’s Day. There should be a show of love and concern to people around you. Call your parent, siblings, visit the prisons or orphanage. But what we see rather is a fleet of overcrowded clubs and happening party zones. St. Valentine was a catholic priest who specialized in giving to the poor, He wedded couples without charge and even when he was in prison, he shared whatever was brought to him among his fellow prisoners. He was martyred on the 14^th of February.

It is important we know that love even in relationships is not that which should be shown once in a year but every moment. Relationships are not just about flowers, candy red hearts and expensive gifts; it is also about understanding, forbearing and compromise.

Love is the message of the cross and lust is the mess of the world. Please spread the message and stop this mess.

Show some love to that someone across the street. Help the needy and please also love yourself. Happy valentine's day to you.

                                                                                                             

                                                                                                Written by Dubem Val