My FUTO Story - #12

Year One

My first year was frustrating, boring and annoying. After the life changing and excruciating clearance, I was assigned to room 300E, hostel A. If you have been to that hostel or have stayed there, then you would know that this room is directly beside the public toilet.

When I went to complain, I met this lady who had bleached down to her knuckles. She let me rant all I wanted and when I was done she told me I was lucky to be next to a natural alarm clock. She said to me in a thick Igbo accent

“Don’t ya know that the smell from the toilet wee make you wake early? That is toh say, you no fit go class late”

I was furious with her reply and went back to my toilet end room. But I believe that it subconsciously made me want to focus on the positive side of every bad situation. Even though, I attended lectures and took down notes, I was more interested in the playing video games with my roommates. By the time results came out, I did not need an excuse not to be serious with my academics.

Year Two

My second year was when I developed small common sense. I used the game pad less often and discovered that the school library could actually be used for good. It was in the library that I met wonderful people who have so much affected me positively- Ifunanya, Constance, Kelvin and Joe. The library houses not only old books and nerds, but also a wonderful collection of awkward people. From the staff to the students.

One of the staff that usually checks library card, has his phonebook filled with FUTO girls’ contact. Every girl I know that visits the library have at one time or the other been asked for their contact.

I remember sitting close to this guy in the library who winked at me at intervals while biting and licking his lips (I guessed he watches a lot of Ini Edo’s movies). As I left the library that day, he ran after me and practically begged for my phone number. I have never been known to say no to a person in need so I gave him my Grand dads’.

I also met this girl who asked me to scratch her back while she read CHM 201- in the library.

Year Three 

This year, I decided to steal a phone and my punishment was the general beating I received from a mob of hungry students. It was the middle of the second semester and my drama troupe was preparing for our annual show. Having spent two years in the troupe without being noticed, I wanted to prove my worth by all means possible. I participated in the last production by selling tickets. My talents yet undiscovered.

Somehow, my prayers were answered as I was casted for an awareness skit. Location was SOSC extension. We were just four in the play, I, Chioma, Victor and Martins. The play was simple and straight forward, nothing we couldn’t handle. It was to run this way- we all walk into a class, pretending not to know each other. I was to seat next to Chioma, while Victor and Martins stay close by. Chioma was to scream and cry during the lecture. Raising an alarm about her stolen phone. The resulting search would lead to the phone being found in my bag. Victor would slap me mildly a couple of times while Martins walks up to the front of the class to announce that it was all an act by ‘Morning Star Theater Troupe. The plan was to use the ruckus created to sell tickets to the show. We rehearsed a couple of times and all was set.

The following day being Monday by 10am, we arrived SOSC extension for our little publicity stunt. We were all excited and ready to prove ourselves except Martins so was somewhat aloof. We entered the hall, and took our seating positions amongst unsuspecting 200 level students.  Dr. Umanna began his lecture and 15 minutes later, Chioma begins a frantic search, crying and cursing. This attracted the attention of the lecturer. He approached where we were seated and asked for her phone number. He sympathized with her and decided to dial it.

The shrill cry of the phone emanated from a distance close by and not before long, everybody knew it was coming from my bag.

As rehearsed, Victor jumped from behind and gave me a dirty slap, calling me a thief I tried to stutter an apology, but it fell on deaf ears as he gave me another slap. The lecturer came forward and restrained victor. But it was too late, slaps now reigned on me from every angle.

Two heavy looking guys started dragging me out of the lecture hall. Amidst the battle of punches, I kept shouting

“Na morning Star oo. Na Morning Star oo”

But the crowd was too blood thirsty to care. The last thing I remembered was seeing Victor try to stop a guy approaching me with a wooden plank and Martins rushing in from nowhere.

I spent the rest of the day in FUTO medicals reconsidering my friendship with martins.

Year Four and Five

I spent my last two years in the University meeting new people. I met a girl who shares a room with her two boyfriends. There was someone who starts his smoking by 3am and ends by 7am. Another, was only able to read after having sex. Weird people around me. They added spice to my stay in school and I learnt a lot from them. Relevant things though.

Raymond is a dark and short Environmental Technologist who dances for 20 out of the 24 hours in a day. Check his instagram page for confirmation. He is considering pursuing a career in trekking, for he is one of the few persons that have successfully trekked from Nekede to FUTO front gate on a Sunday. He believes that growth comes through consistency, that’s why he eats three times daily. He loves meeting awkward people and enjoys having bad friends, because he believes they are more fun. He does not care about climate change until it affects Wande coal’s music and the internet.  He is the founder of www.wiredjob.com  an online platform that connects skilled experts and freelancers to clients. You can reach him on raymond@wiredjob.com for more information.